I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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