I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
