Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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