Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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