If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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