I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
