the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
