her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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