u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
