Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
