i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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