Just cropdusted the office
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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