Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
