Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
