every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
