at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
