I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
