You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her vagine was all disorganized.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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