im having a threesome with these popsicles
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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