could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Randomize
