I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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