his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
