$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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