Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
