We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
