I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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