Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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