spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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