are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
