Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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