So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize