I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize