Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
