i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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