i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
