i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
