Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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