im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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