if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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