I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
