Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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