so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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