I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
