sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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