yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
