Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
