is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
