butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way