He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that