So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And then the night went full on bisexual.