Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
