Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
