He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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