also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
