Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
