we're blogging at a bar
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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