so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.