So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.