I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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