you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I love you.
Bad choice
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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